i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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