There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
