I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
