At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
