you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
