is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
