he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
