YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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