Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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