i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
