We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
