AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
