bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this boner is exhausting
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
