But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
