adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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