My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
