he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
God, I missed his penis.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize