Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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