what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
