Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
