I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
