I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
