Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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