JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
