I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
