I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize