i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
