True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
