whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
