i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize