Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
