in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
