Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
