I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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