i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
