between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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