I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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