he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
