Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize