The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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