dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
