We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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