I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
