**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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