Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
