Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
