Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
