awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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