Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it glows. i had to have it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
