I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
