i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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