My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
