We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How does one acquire holy water?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
