It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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