Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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