Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you had me at cake vodka
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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