mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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