Me. At least after what I've been through.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
