May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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