Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize