Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
