we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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