Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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